The OP includes that it’s from /r/shortguys, but it didn’t have to. Nowhere else is this fucking weird about being short.
-a dude nearly 6” shorter than average
Hobbling used to be a thing, where they’d chop the toes off…
But this is hobbiting
Wait, the formula for a quiet, serene life, far away from the urbanity & drama’d be… do crimes? 🤔
I’m personally quite interested in this sort of thing, especially if said Shire is outside of the US —and I’m sure I’m not alone in this. 🥴🤞🏼
LOL, touché salesman
I thought Hobbling was breaking ankles and preventing them from healing properly?
That’s a different way to accomplish the same thing yes. Either way is basically the same difference that prevents your prisoner/captive/slave from running away.
Fair enough.
How about free extensions for having a clean record?
Asking for a friend.
So basically, the taller you are the more you can afford to embezzle. The entire NBA becomes corporate scapegoats overnight.
I’m willing to both get stinking rich and no longer be in constant pain on airplanes
That’s what we need, another reason to look down on short people.
I’m so sorry…
What if they made you taller so you have to stoop to go through doorways?
If you’re short you get shortened, if you’re tall you get tallened.
What do they do if you’re average?
You’ve won the Procrustean lottery.
Death.
Maybe, but only for like really violent criminals.
Like someone who killed fitty men
Weight is usually the determining factor in any fight. And small people usually have a complex on top. So you are just making them more aggressive in the end?
Small and aggressive, like a chihuahua.
Also height does matter but only because taller people have longer arms and can punch you from farther away
This would create shorter people with longer arms, completely upsetting the meta
I think shorter people are faster which is probably more significant.
The lack of proportionally between the arms and legs would be its own special hell
That was clearly written by someone who hasn’t watched Casino.
His ending was so brutal. That movie is so good.
I would commit incredibly heinous crimes if doing so would make me shorter. It is not good policy to incentivise a crime wave.
I’m decently above average height for my country, but I grew up with so many really tall people around that I never felt tall. So a cheaper punishment could be to have to be the waterboy for a basketball team.
So torture?
Optional being a critical component you just ignored.
The American prison system is already tourtue.
That’s an odd way to spell “slavery”, but you’re close… though that certainly is a guaranteed component in the US.