wyldrstallyns

You meant Grabthar’s hammer, ofc.

Don’t fret, I had a flatmate back in college who’s girlfriend drunkenly mentioned at one of our parties that his touched the water when he sat on the toilet —and his reaction to this was more proof than anyone wanted. 😵

Extra funny because they were, in the original manuscript, all black. Roald Dahl was a bit daft in many ways, and we have his editor to thank for that save.

You’d be aiming the bidet way off-target, if that’s the worry.

Something tells me that Swedish sphincters pucker at a much lower temp.

Just… don’t crank the pressure. 🫣

A heated bidet is why I can’t bring myself to “shit on company time”, and wait instead until I’m home again, so I get those few rejuvenating moments of a spa treatment.

Sounds like you could use fewer proteins and fats in your diet.🙃

Math is hard, it’s true.

The “average American” is a gawdamned idiot. Cows can use tools better than those morons. Go figure.

The fact that bidets aren’t standard in the US is shameful, disgusting, and a travesty. 🤢

Daaayum. Deep cut!

Ah, the ol’ age test. 🤣

If there’s ever a Rick & Morty cameo by these two legends, I hope they’re in the forms of those two fuzzy bandits. 😍

Yeah, the trouble is the “having” them + “from time to time”. I’d like to think that I’m ready to close the book on this seeming inability to withstand redhead attention, but I’ve been thinking that for a couple decades easy, so far. I’m putting on the work, trusting the process, all that. 😅

Can’t blame me for leaning into the whole feeling alive thing that their fae magic offers, though. 🙃

And, like Meta, Alphabet, et al, they’ll pay a finger-wagging fraction of their net profit, let alone their valuation. 🤬 “Fine”, my ass. It’s anything but fine, the fucks.

The same is said of other deals with ol’ Mephisto.

preach.

Look what they need to approximate a fraction of our experience. 😅

Seriously, meeting someone that could recite the number the modern was calling was like finding a secret wizard warlock IRL. 🤯