“Fighting for custody of his organs” is an incredible turn of phrase. That Ronaldo guy should be a poet or writer.
A lot of my friends have very creative idioms and the like. I have a ravenous appetite for things like this
A friend of mine has described an unpleasant bathroom experience as “birthing a hooved animal”. Makes me laugh every time I hear it.
Once had a friend comment, “have you ever felt like you should apologize to the toilet for what you just did?”
The look on the host’s face was priceless.
Eat some fiber once in a while, folks
Yeah, like some good old tainted lettuce, ya dinguses
Are there tariffs on British lettuces?
The US has troubles of its own, they don’t want our tainted lettuce!
I thought this was slang for weed for a hot minute
The devil’s tainted lettuce!!
The devil’s taint
I mean that would definitely… clean you out, fo sho! 😉💩🚽
Idk what it is, but I think I get plenty of fiber in my diet but I still regularly have problems with this. My doc told me drinking water with the fiber is important, but I’m pretty sure I’m already drinking lots of water too. So… idk, if it gets bad enough maybe I’ll go look into it some more.
Could be your gut microbiome. Try eating more fermented foods and probiotics. Yogurt, kombucha, things like that.
Also, be aware of the difference between soluble and insoluble fiber. Pay attention to which one you’re getting the most of and see if getting more of the other one helps.
Getting regular physical activity? Even just taking a walk helps by applying mechanical forces…
This is a big one for me cause I’m often sedentary due to work. I’ve noticed a nice long walk helps.
Taking a walk is also a great way to quell queasiness, making it an excellent combo of solutions when you’re sick on the toilet. Seriously, try pacing around the room.
Why? What are you implying?!
::takes shirt off::
#arethecarnistsokay
You can eat fiber and meat lmao
And don’t abuse opiates
Then just how the hell am I supposed to wind down at the end of the day?
Perhaps with a nice, satisfying BM?
Can’t, too many opiates.
Take a bunch of immodium instead. (Taking a shit ton of it has similar effects to opiates)
Does it? I’ve heard that it can be useful for chasing WD away, but wasn’t aware that it got you high. Something about delta kappa mu receptors? But I use kratom, which used to actually make me go, but finally does seem to be having traditional effects. I have a gut many expensive doctors have all failed to diagnose though so, shrug.
Yeah, it’s known as Lopers. But you have to take something like 200 pills, which any doctor will tell you to absolutely not do.
I don’t think there is any pill that taking 200 of is not a terrible idea.
some of y’all need to eat some g-d vegetables
Beans
Also, bidet.
Break out the poop knife as well
Just his shirt, i strip naked
I do that in public urinals.
You must have small feet
It’s how you came into this world, might as well go out the same way
Sometimes I just need that extra ankular distance to open up the passageways a little more
just ibs things
I do this so my clothes don’t absorb the smell of shit
Oh my god, I’ve never seen someone else think this. Hello twin…
I’d be more concerned if he took a portion of his shirt off
I had a teacher who would occasionally wear only one sleeve of a sweater. He claimed it was too hot with the whole thing on. Looked weird.
Here you are with a teacher trying to show kids we don’t all have to fit in the same mold, and you call it weird. smh
I mean it looked like he got distracted while getting dressed and forgot to finish. So yeah. Weird.
I misread “shirt” as “shift,” and I was like, “damn, 8h to take a shit? What was he eating?” lol
Fightin, Lovin, Poopin is the Journey song we needed but never got.
Now it’s your turn boy to cryy!
Nahhh nahh n-nahhh nahh nah
In the immortal words of Howie Mandel, “it’s my potty and I’ll cry if I want to.”
fighting for me life in here
Godspeed.
Sidebar, I love your username. I noticed it when I first joined.
Sidebar, I love your username. I
You MFers need some fiber in your diet. Otherwise you are gonna end up with a brain aneurysm from pressing so much.
Could be the opposite. I like to think he was hoping to achieve lift-off.
IIRC someone once did got one and got in emergency room, after that he became a good artist
I forgot the name of that man sadly so i can’t share any article, if someone know the name, tell me please
Oh shit, something has awakened.
It frees you up.
Hey, not bad.
WTF are americans eating to make pooping so hard?
Freedom.
(awe, that joke was a reflex but looking at it now just makes me sad)
If I think it’s going to be a journey and I’m not in a situation where I don’t care what my shirt looks like (like doing chores on the weekend) but a nice shirt I don’t want to wrinkle more than I need to… shirt’s coming off.
Sometimes you just need more skin touching air, sometimes it’s the sweat making tattle tale creases.
Sometimes just need to feel free
