This is not a SFW instance. NSFW communities will be tagged, and efforts will be made to keep SFW communities clean, but proceed at your own comfort level.
Although maybe “unnattractive” isn’t a good fit because I do understand that it’s not a woman’s default objective to “be attractive” to me. It’s more just that maybe I’m a bit weird about ears and noses. If you have something hanging out of your nose my lizard brain alerts me that it’s probably a booger. My more sophisticated hominid brain is aware that it’s not, but this creates a kind of unsolvable feedback loop that’s unsolvable.
Yesterday I was interviewing a candidate for a job. I’m genuinely trying to listen and engage with this cacophony of booger not-booger booger not-booger going on.
Im not so sure about that. Of course its fine to not be attracted to different traits, thats not in question. The problem is what we say.
If someone says they find a phrase impolite, or that they find a meal bland, there’s an implication that the thing has not met that person’s expectations.
People dont sail around expressing their opinion that they find something unattractive for that very reason.
IMO this isn’t a special case. Most smokers don’t want to be smokers, they are unable to stop. It’s fine that you find smoking unattractive, but telling everyone just makes you a bit of a jerk IMO.
I didn’t say it was anyone’s objective to be attractive to me. And it isn’t. I just have (as does everyone else) the agency to decide for myself what I find attractive or not.
Thank you for pointing out the possibly ambiguity of my response though, so I could clarify.
I just find them unnattractive; generally not into piercings or tattoos. To each their own…
Same.
Although maybe “unnattractive” isn’t a good fit because I do understand that it’s not a woman’s default objective to “be attractive” to me. It’s more just that maybe I’m a bit weird about ears and noses. If you have something hanging out of your nose my lizard brain alerts me that it’s probably a booger. My more sophisticated hominid brain is aware that it’s not, but this creates a kind of unsolvable feedback loop that’s unsolvable.
Yesterday I was interviewing a candidate for a job. I’m genuinely trying to listen and engage with this cacophony of booger not-booger booger not-booger going on.
When you say that something is unattractive , it’s your personal opinion which you are entitled to. It’s fine. We are people, we are diverse.
Im not so sure about that. Of course its fine to not be attracted to different traits, thats not in question. The problem is what we say.
If someone says they find a phrase impolite, or that they find a meal bland, there’s an implication that the thing has not met that person’s expectations.
People dont sail around expressing their opinion that they find something unattractive for that very reason.
And that’s an opinion too. That’s fine.
You chopped my sentence in half in order to avoid acknowledging the point i made?
The second half doesn’t change the essence of the phrase. If it does and I didn’t understand it - please elaborate.
Having an opinion is fine.
Stating that you have a negative opinion implies that something is unsatisfactory.
For the author of the opinion.
And that’s fine
I find smoking unattractive.
IMO this isn’t a special case. Most smokers don’t want to be smokers, they are unable to stop. It’s fine that you find smoking unattractive, but telling everyone just makes you a bit of a jerk IMO.
Its wild to me verbalizing turn-ons and turn-offs is considered rude nowadays.
It used to be considered prudent and realistic.
Not wasting my time or their time is polite.
I didn’t say it was anyone’s objective to be attractive to me. And it isn’t. I just have (as does everyone else) the agency to decide for myself what I find attractive or not.
Thank you for pointing out the possibly ambiguity of my response though, so I could clarify.
Do you decide what you find attractive? Or just observe and notice? Could you decide that something is attractive for you?
Yes, i decided by observing and noticing.
That’s how attraction works.
Im not just by default attracted to one hair style or a specific skin color.
I observe and notice what attracts me and make a decision.