Lots of people in here talking about the false dichotomy completely missing the point of the post: Society puts a lot of pressure for people to be extroverted but not the other way around.
Not to mention, I heard of a study in an audiobook showing that extroverts don’t even allow introverts to jump into the conversation. They fear quiet pauses, so they rush to fill in the space with more talk, not realizing that the introvert had a perfect opportunity to jump in.
Audiobook is ‘The Art of Small Talk’ by Casey Wilson and Jessica St. Clair. Unfortunately only available in audio.
I hate that our society endlessly rewards people that are highly social, early birds with money. I didn’t grow up with any of that.
“Learn how to shut the fuck up for like 30 seconds.”
“start masking yourself because you make other people uncomfortable”
But I’m an extrovert and do this too cause there’s way more introverts than extroverts and they all find me overwhelming and/or annoying
“There’s more introverts than extroverts” hell naw, it’s the opposite. There’s way more extroverts than introverts in the world, unfortunately
Could you be neurodivergent?
We’re on lemmy, what do you think?
It’d be like “Extroverted? You’ve got ADHD.”
As an introverted ADHD guy, I dissent
During the pandemic, our CEO did a company-wide meeting and told us to reach out to extroverts because they were really suffering. And yeah I get that but can’t the extroverts just reach out to each other and save everyone else the hassle? I mean that’s already kind of their schtick.
I remember saying at the time that the lockdown was basically the world flipping from Extrovert World to Introvert World temporarily, and as an introvert who essentially has to live permanently in Extrovert World it was wild to see how quickly and utterly the extroverts fell apart when they had to exist in Introvert World even for a short while. And it wasn’t just like “oh they’re unhappy.” It felt legit dangerous, they were ready to burn it all to the ground.
Won’t someone think of the social butterflies!?
Same at our company. People had to get therapy because of how horrible everything was and how hard it was to be isolated and work from home.
Meanwhile I had never been happier in my life. No one interrupted my work, I had all communication in writing on slack, and I could take micro breaks and throw a load in the washer or handle some small task during the day and still get hours to spare and money saved due to not having a commute.
I often think that “return to office” was “extroverts want a captive audience and don’t care how miserable they are.”
That, and some people really thrive in an environment where their communication lacks a paper trail because they’re duplicitous assholes.
im usually very extroverted, id love an article like that
any tips?
This is going to sound weird, but: actually shut your mouth. Physically keep it shut. You’ll end up talking anyway, and that’s okay. When you notice you’re talking more than most again, physically shut your mouth.
Imagine a room full of extroverts. This would essentially be a circus without audience.
The extroverts I met usually get along very well
A lot of people can’t tell the difference between extroverts and covert narcissists
I’m old and late to the neurodivergent thing. It’s been interesting and a little comforting to realize that I’m not as weird and alone as I once thought. I’ve struggled most of my life, not greatly, but still a struggle, to “fit in” with extroverts, because that’s all I’ve seen.Those who are more extrovert are loud and insistent and everywhere it seems, so it’s hard to see the rest of us, sometimes, in spite of apparently making up 30% or likely more of the population.
It would have been nice to come to this understanding when I was a teenager when I was really struggling, but that can’t be changed.
To the extroverts: you’re not superior, you’re just different, the same way introverts are not superior, or inferior, just different. I’d wager that the more introverted among us have made much of what we take for granted possible. We’re the scientists and engineers, and a bit ironically the ones who are more curious and thoughtful about the world.
There was the “you’re an extroverted-introvert” or opposite label also going around for a while, to describe people in the middle.
Best way I heard it described was introverts need quiet time to feel refreshed, while extroverts need social time to recharge. This helps me understand my wife better. I need wind down time, she needs the constant chatter. It is a challenging compromise sometimes 😀
Introversion feels so mainstream now. Anybody remember the “antisocial social club” sweaters? Or all the pop songs about feeling left out at the club/party (Lorde and Charlie XCX have a few of these I think).
I’m pretty sure the internet has a big part to do with it. The introverts loved the internet. You could lurk, find communities around niche interests, post anonymously, etc. And then the internet blew up, and the internet veterans became the cool ones.
Internet veteran, and not even a properly old one I just remember AOL on CDs: nah we aren’t cool, the net is full of normies now.
“1. Just say hello! It really is that easy. Saying hello to someone you just met can make you seem friendly and engaging.”
There is a small mountain of exactly these kinds of messages on the Internet, shared repeatedly on social media. A lot of them, in fact, are this exact tweet and its clones.
Yelling at extroverts online for being extroverted is a well-established trope at this point, nearly always including the claim that it rarely or never happens.
Oh trust me people are bad at speaking as it is, you guys go full don’t talk until spoken to ain’t nobody gonna ever say a word again. Good luck in need any communicative moments, gosh you all are just afraid of the fact that your introverted nature has to do with how you feel about yourself and the value of your words. Also, extrovert normally is someone trying to keep things light or spoken up on so we don’t get away with bad stuff. So nah. I bartended events with 10s of thousands of people I’m a talker, you need us.
Yes, LemmySchpemmy, keep talking. Do your thing. There’s nothing I’d like more to read and answer to. People like you are needed to get all the attention they need.
So, I hope I shielded the bait for everybody else.