• OBJECTION!@lemmy.ml
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    2 hours ago

    Tbh the biggest danger that would come from having bin Laden babysit your kids is the possibility of them being killed in a drone strike.

  • starik@lemmy.today
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    2 hours ago

    Kind of like how when a restaurant reopens after an embarrassing health code violation, and it’s now the cleanest restaurant in town, Lindsay Clancy for me.

    I mean, what are the chances she’d do that twice?

  • Jankatarch@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    Just leave them home alone.

    Alternatively, you reckon Osama could teach them basic engineering skills? If they are making phone-activated landmines surely they can put up some fun RF experiments.

    • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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      46 minutes ago

      It’d just be monkey bars all day. Monkey bars on loop, like on CNN in 2003. So much monkey bars your kids would be swole like great apes when you got back.

    • QueenHawlSera@piefed.social
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      2 hours ago

      Looks like we are.

      sigh

      No one’s arguing for her to be found innocent, Not Guilty By Reason Of Insanity doesn’t mean you go home

    • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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      2 hours ago

      Except he put American and European atheists at the bottom of his hierarchy, so your kids would be far safer with Hitler if they fit any of those denominations

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    Osama bin Laden loved his kids. He was hard on them, for sure, he was basically what you imagine when you think of a deep south US prepper survivalist - a bit eccentric and paranoid, but intelligent - he would be taking his kids on long hikes, teaching them how to sleep in the desert with only sand as a blanket, but he did it out of a deep desire to protect them and give them skills to survive.

  • realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip
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    7 hours ago

    Honestly, as much as this surprises me, but from those 4 options, my kids would probably be safest with hitler. I assume the first woman is the one that just killed her 3 kids, so that’s a fundamental NOPE, diddy, yeah nah, that guy is just weird. So it boils down to the islamic terrorist and the cocaine-addicted, so I’d just give it hitler and hope he has a good day without thaaaaat much cocaine.

    • CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      Hitler was a pedophile and complete loser

      Osama was a regular family man with somewhat extreme political beliefs who was well educated and relatively normal

      I’d pick Osama

      • realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip
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        6 minutes ago

        I’m German, we are taught VERY extensively about hitler’s wrongdoings in school, but him being a pedophile is something I have never heard before. And from some quick online searches, that seems to be a very unsubstantiated claim.

        somewhat extreme political beliefs

        Bro

        • CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world
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          34 minutes ago

          Behind the bastards, he “dated” many “young women” who were like 12 - 16 in his 30s, the “love letters” and other documentation exists

          • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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            28 minutes ago

            The Behind the Bastards claims were ~17 and legal in state and country, not a controversial act at the time and only borderline controversial now - and still legal

    • BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 hours ago

      Bin Laden could be trusted because from what I know he never purposely wanted kids targeted. One murdered several children, one murdered too many to count in concentration camps as well as ordering soldiers to do it because he didn’t see them as human. The last one was a sex pest and I wouldn’t trust kids with.

    • dan69@lemmy.world
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      8 hours ago

      The man had multiple wives and multiple kids. All of which where taken care of financially- so ya seconded

    • St.Elsewhere@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
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      13 hours ago

      Western educated man who is pissed off at the US for abandoning his political ascension? Slightly better than a meth addicted turboracist, a crazy murderer, and a child molester. I doubt bin Laden is going to be able to do much opinion changing in a single evening and I doubt that he’d outright kill or molest them.

      • gastroglizzy@piefed.social
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        13 hours ago

        Bin Laden fathered 24 children, the first of which was with his first cousin when she was 16 and he was 17. They went on to have ten more children. The other 13 were spread amongst five other wives. They also found several beheading videos on his computer. He also believed muslims should kill any US civilians they find until the US withdraws support for Israel.

        I think definitely killing and maybe molestation would be on the table.

    • AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social
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      13 hours ago

      Not even remotely close. I saw him first and before seeing the rest of the faces I already knew that this was an usian thing so he was going to be “a major evil”.

      Fact is, aside religion, we’d have a lot in common, including hating the US so, if any, it would give for an interesting evening for my kids and a more interesting post-evening chat with him.

      The other 3, in my eyes, are way, waaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse.

    • gastroglizzy@piefed.social
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      13 hours ago

      You must not know very much about Bin Laden. Give his Wikipedia articles a quick skim. Your kids wouldn’t survive the night. If they survive an hour, it’s because they decided to kill them slowly.

  • 3daybanwithdrawl@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    Did Hitler actually do any killing people himself, or did he just have other people do it for him? If it’s the latter then I pick him, because I think he’s too lazy to actually do anything.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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      6 hours ago

      Top left is the perpertrator of (trigger warning, 3 kids killed, I’m leaving the link as it is instead of adding text to it so you know what it is without having to click on it) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_the_Clancy_children

      Bottom right is P Diddy aka Puff Daddy aka Sean Combs. Known for, among other things: helping more talented musicians than himself make good music, dating J-Lo, playing in a Muppets movie, rape parties, domestic violence, guest appearance on Notorious B.I.G’s track Mo Money Mo Problems, potentially ordering the hit on 2pac’s life, being a general piece of shit with tons of connections and money. He was like the Hip-Hop world’s Epstein, though I don’t remember if the “performers” at the Diddy Parties were children or adult women, they were definitely getting raped though.

      Like those two Americans are so bad that between these 4 people… I’d be most likely to trust bin Laden. In this very hypothetical scenario, because this is a shitpost and in reality if I can’t find a sitter and I get to choose between these 4, well guess what, I’m just cancelling my plans and staying home. Might be a tie between bin Laden and Hitler actually, we’re not Jewish, Roma or any other minority he tried exterminating.

  • ☭SaltyIcetea☭ @lemmy.ml
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    11 hours ago

    ngl, since im a white, cis, heterosexual, non-jewish, german: probably hitler. i dont think he was the kinda guy that would kill children just because he could. if these children happened to have like, a jewish mother, things would definitely look different