Yeah, but you can tell her her skirt is stylish today!

As long as that doesn’t make her uncomfortable…

oh, ok. the whole ‘veil’ thing was weird.

but i’m an asshole and pretty direct about my wants and needs. I don’t veil much of anything. which does upset a lot of people who can’t communicate effectively or directly. they tend to think i’m pretty evil with my ‘hey can you do this thing’ type of communication

Yeah a lot of online interaction is also just like… projection of the reader/viewer.

Can’t agree with you that it’s mundane here. I find a lot of spaces here to completely detached from any humanity or reality and a lot of the users here to believing in fictional worlds in their heads where they are the only good person who exists and it’s everyone else that is evil.

But there are some pretty cool stuff that reminds me of early reddit where I had a lot of cool and educational interactions. Which sadly, stopped existing on reddit in the late 2010s as the site became systematically removed it’s ‘melting pot’ aspects that I found so fruitful and positive.

what the fuck does any of that even mean?

good and evil are moral classifications of actions, mostly based on your frame of social reference. hence why murder is sometimes good and sometimes bad, and legally it has different degrees that make it more or less heinous, which comes with greater or lesser sentences.

Yeah, the drug called reality and accountability.

and realizing it’s all the same people that were on corporate internet making it miserable to use it.

everyone is evil to somebody else.

it’s that before the internet we largely weren’t exposed to all sorts of people who were radically different than us on a regular basis. most of us were mostly exposed to people who were mostly similar to us.

and in real life, most folks are still mostly exposed to folks who are similar to them

‘no but u’

yeah this is how every bad faith lemmy poster resorts too.

that, or you can also tell me how i’m a nazi/facist. that’s usually the other retort they go to.

because it can’t be that your might possible be wrong or incorrect, it’s that I must want want to mass murder babies or something.

Oh that’s easy dude. Everyone my entire life has told me lobster is amazing. I litereally had it last night again, but it tastes like nothing to me. It’s just kinda rubbery and unpleasant, even soaked in butter. Still I never think about lobster or desire it or wonder about it. I just don’t care. Other people are obsessed with it, and when we go otu to eat, I just order the fish, since I really like fish. And yeah, many people are assholes who tell me off that I’m ‘messed up’ for not liking lobster because it’s the greatest most tasty thing ever.

I guess I don’t get it. Media also basically tells us we all have to be rich, but I don’t feel any compulsion about being rich.

Sex is nice but you’re not missing anything. Most people who talk about sex like that are addicts and their entire life is about sex. Most folks only have a few sexual partners their entire life and sex is not a big deal for them.

True, a lot of people agonize about sex and money, but those people are miserable, you don’t want to be like them.

In America we watch HR videos that basically say ‘you can tell sally she has a nice skirt on today, but if you comment on her hair or tell her she is pretty you are sexually harassing her’

I did my HR re-training a few months ago. This is what it said. They have these strict guidelines on what speech is permissible between co-workers. My HR trailing is an hour long or so, and most of the time is spend on what qualifies as sexual harassment or hostile workplace conversation.

Because the companies don’t want to be sued for sexual harassment. Which is precisely what Sally could do, if I told her she was pretty and HR didn’t fire me. She could sue my company for a nice six figure settlement for creating a hostile work environment by allowing me to comment on her physical attractiveness.

There are also strict rules about what topics are appropriate for discussion.

This is how every USA workplace is. These rules also apply outside of work hours. If I go out with Sally after work, she also an sue the company if I make a pass at her at a bar, and they don’t fire me for it. Even if Sally is into me, we date, and we disclose it to HR there are strict rules about what we can and can’t say to each other at work. We can’t talk about our relationship to together co-workers, for starters.

This is why nobody dates at work anymore. And the company actively disapproves of fraternization, because it introduces the risk of them getting sued when the relationship between two co-workers goes south.

it was canadian?

sad

Just because I try to be respectful and talk like an adult,

this literally implies that other folks talk like children and aren’t respectful and then pushes back that I must be uncomfortable.

imply imply imply, never be honest or straightforward. argue in bad faith and then accuse the other person of doing so, etc. falsely report the other persons comments even though they are right there in front of you, and then backtrack your own claims when confronted.

It’s fine, your in good company with most on people on this site. A total lack of self awareness and a strong sense of delusion in your own superiority based on ‘knowledge’ you don’t really possess, but rather belief that you idealize. Because you feel a certain way, and you are the best, and it MUST be true. And if anyone questions you, they are questioning everything you believe in, so you take it personally.

No, it’s because where I live owning things is considered bad and weird. You are supposed have a minimalist lifestyle and spend all your money traveling and going to restaurants, and what you do own has to be very expensive and exclusive. DVDs are cheap and gross.

It’s not just the dvds, people think I’m weird for having pets, furniture, and other physical objects. There is a weird fetishization here for who like refuse to own anything that doesn’t fit in a few suitcases. Probably because they constantly move. Like almost none of my nieghbors are the same, people live here for like 2-3 years and move mostly. So someone who has lived in the same place for 5+ years and is invested in the community and in their home, freaks them out.

were you part on an online forum where you talked about this and called yourself an incel?

being young and confused and angry at the world isn’t a special unique thing dude, it’s normal. hate to break it you but millions of tens of millions of people have read such books about how to pick up girls, they just forgot about or or didn’t regard it as a big deal.

so much of what is fucked up about online culture is people hyperbolic their totally ordinary experiences into an ‘identity’ and them form a support ground around it where they turn it into a pathology about how the world is oppressing them because of ‘who they are’ when ‘who they are’ is just some stupid arbitrary bullshit they made up.

literally every dude and every woman has struggled in romantic relationships. nobody is unique in that. when I was in high school before internet shit widespread, everyone whined to each other in person about they couldn’t get girls/boys they wanted an nobody liked them and kept trying to ‘figure out’ how to get to bang the people we wanted to bang. we just didn’t do it online or think it made us special or different.

incel became part of the modern popular discourse in 2014 when Elliot Roger mass shooting and self identified as an incel. the concept has only been around a decade, though apparently self-identified incels started using online forums in 2004 or so.

this entire thread you’ve postured yourself as ‘above me’.

I love it. Do they have a test for delusions of social superiority? How do you think you’d score on it? [

i have this other radical idea… maybe your real world experience isn’t all that there is in the world… maybe other people experience the world differently?

and yeah there is no point to ‘continue’ when you can’t acknowledge that your experience is inherently limited and flawed and is likely only shared with a tiny percentage of other people who are very similar to you. which is what is called in-group bias!

yeah I’ve heard this. Makes sense. I was a big buyer of DVDs myself back in the 2000s, but once streaming came along it was over.

I still have a couple dozen movies on blu ray and such, and people are total assholes about it asking me why I am so ‘weird’ owning physical media. Movie collecting doesn’t get the cultural ‘cool’ of say, owning records on vinyl, and btw often the people who own vinyl are the same ones who give me shit about having physical media… sigh

everything is streaming rights sales now, and you can’t command a high price for it on a low budget movie, hence why most streaming services are full of cheap schlock and the high priced premium content moves from service to service ever other month.

I wish they made more movies like this. But they don’t.

It’s kind of wild how wholesome many 2000 comedies were deep down. But the world changed and a lot of them were re evaluated a in the 2010s as being awful and terrible because they were given surface level analysis and turned into rage-bait for the ‘love to be offended’ crowd who often can’t see beyond the surface of things.

2005 was the year Youtube was launched, 5 months after 40 Year old Virgin was released in theaters.

life is better when you stop trying to achieve things you were never going to achieve.

and focus on things that are rewarding and fulfilling.

when it came out incels didn’t exist, at least the modern version of them.

they only hit the cultural radar when they started killing people in the 2014. a decade after this film came out

I’m confused, like you still desire it but you can’t experience it?