• freagle@lemmy.ml
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    1 month ago

    Voter: That guy’s got a knife and he’s coming for me! What do I do?

    D: Vote for me and I’ll keep you safe!

    Voter: OK! Here I go… let’s… voooooooote!

    D: I win the election, thanks to everyone who donated to my campaign. This is a win for all of us, not just me.

    Voter: Ok, now take that guy’s knife away.

    D: <slaps voter> How dare you criticize me after my very tenuous and delicate victory!

    Voter: But he still has the knife and he’s still coming for me.

    D: Donate $25 to my campaign for re-election and we’ll stop the knife wielding maniacs!

    Voter: But you won already. Are you going to stop the knife wielding maniacs?

    D: We can’t unless you vote D in the next election.

    Voter: But I voted D in this one, and you won, and he still has a knife

    R: Haha! I have won the next election. Here I come with my knife that no one took from me!

    D: How would we have lost?! It must be the voters’ fault! Donate $25 to my campaign and we’ll send out weird postcards saying that we’ll know if you voted or not

    Voter: Well, getting slapped is not as bad as getting stabbed!