A dollar bill folded into a tiny shirt.
A classmate folded it into a tiny shirt 20+ years ago, I put it in my wallet (which I generally have on my person every day) and I often forget about it. It hides behind my ID so I only remember I have it when I get a new ID.
Regret
a length of bicycle chain
An atlas of my local area and a compass. Never know when you might need one.
I always carry my library card. Never know when you might need to get a book out.
Couple of beanie babies on my backpack
My hopes and dreams that have died over the years.
I have this contraption of belts and buckles and stuff that holds my retractable dog leash and wallet and keys. The dog leash because walking the dog is something I always do multiple times a day. I don’t bother removing the dog leash so I look like a wierdo to everyone but I don’t care.
A joker card
This piece of technology that allows me to access unfathomable amounts of information, talk to nearly anyone in the world with the push on a piece of glass, direct me to places I have no idea how to get to, teach me a language, play games, get instructional videos on just about anything, take pictures, and argue with people. And it’s smaller than a block of butter.
You mean the pornography rectangle?
Ah yes, the magic box with access to the collective knowlege of all of mankind. I use mine to get into arguments with strangers and look at pictures of cats.
You mean an internet communicator?
It’s also my car key and my wallet. The only other thing I need to carry is my Burt’s Bees lip balm.
a bit of tritium, bike pump (in my backpack instead of on the bike), waterproof pants
I use one of these on my camping bag and even after 15 years I can spot my bag in the dark from 20 feet away
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tritium says “Since tritium is a low energy beta (β) emitter, it is not dangerous externally (its β particles cannot penetrate the skin), but it can be a radiation hazard if inhaled, ingested via food or water, or absorbed through the skin.”
Did you just say Tritium?
Yes! It has pretty green glow. Something like this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tritium#/media/File:Tritium-Glowring_-_320s.jpg
I have that keychain for 6 years and it still glows!
Ok, that’s one of the cooler answers.
The petrified severed finger of an elf.
???
‽‽‽
That’s the usual reaction.
Dobby? *sniff.
existential dread
What about Existential Bread?
I carry around peanuts to throw at crows everywhere I go. But bread may work in trying times.
Strictly non-existential bread for me actually.
Low carb diet
I have my dogs ashes in the trunk of my car. Been there for about 5 years.
I keep my deceased cat’s rabies tag on me
🤜🤛
I have all the rabies and microchip tags from all three of my deceased cats on my keys. It’s nice to have them. Details the history of where they lived with me
A set of lockpicks. I must admit they were much more useful in school than after. But at this point I’ve had some set of picks in my pocket for more than half my life so I doubt I’ll stop anytime soon.
I want to carry mine around but if you get arrested for any reason doesn’t it enhance any charges?
Not that I ever interact with the fuzz
My understanding is most states follow the precident set by Massachusetts: if you’re caught with them while committing a crime or on your way to commit a crime then its a problem. Some states require you to be a locksmith. Either way, I don’t make it obvious I have them and don’t go around committing a bunch of crimes. Scout’s honor.
Ok, I’ll bite, why?
Because in middle school when I bought my first set I was a little edgelord who wanted to lord it over my friends.
In college, I played all of a Resident Evil game by sneaking into classrooms after hours and plugging my Xbox 360 into the media center’s projector that was behind a wafer lock. Horror is best played on screens measured in feet in dark rooms.
One time my uncle forgot his keys to a storage unit and I managed to get the lock open for him. This might be the one time I used them legitimately.
