One of the best feelings for both parties
(artist is Mathias Leth)
This is pretty great
I agree, in retrospect I wasn’t safe until I slept with someone who loved me ❤️🔥 for who I am
Nice
My God you perverts need to stop fetishizing emotional support just because you don’t get either it or enough sex.
Actually now that I said that I understand the process.
Don’t kinkshame us!
Exactly. Nothing wrong with fetishizing emotional support. Also, plenty of sex … Emotional support sex, so your statement of us getting either not wnough emotional support or not enough sex is wrong on both counts.
As usuall, half serious, half pulling things out of proportions. That’s what you get for telling people what to or not to do.
but like, the need for emotional support is revealed by sex. Sex is so intimate that emotional support becomes necessary even if it was neglected (bottled up) before. How are you supposed to trust a reassurance about your safety from someone who doesn’t know your body inside and out?
i need to be both parties in this and i dont think im ok
Maybe you can be okay with someone else ❤️
i hope so
Damn, got got shivers just reading that.
Imma just add it to the list of things I’ll never tell my bf I need to hear.
But if you don’t communicate your wants and needs, he’ll be flying blind
I know. we’re working on it.
Flying blind or establishing an ATC?
To be honest everyone has emotional triggers like this. For example comparing me with my father makes me very angry.
However I kinda think it is a bit wrong to have someone in a very emotional dependant state, which is also not prior discussed as far as I see, perform sexual acts. For me this is a consent Problem.
My interpretation is that the sexual act was already ongoing when the comment was made.
If they were just, I dunno, hanging out on the couch ans went from that, to the comment, to cumming, that would be a little weird, yeah. But I really don’t think that’s the case.
Whether it makes sense to make emotionally sensitive remarks during such acts, I mean, such acts are inherently emotional. And I would assume one has the good sense to know in which ways they can push/explore a little and in which ways they really should not.
Well this is a question of ethics. Basically this is where you are on the scale between: "Would you stop if your partner gets unresponsive? Most ppl would I guess.
Would you stop when your partner gets goosebumps? Most ppl won’t."
And
“Would you play with an intoxicated partner?”
Here they stated that the sub was extremely vulnerable. When you are vulnerable you are suggestable. If you are very vulnerable you are very suggestable. And if you are suggestable you may don’t use your safe word even if you want to. This is also a part of consent. When you start a session you are consenting to a degree to this. (This is Position agnostic btw)
If someone gets extremely vulnerable unexpectedly during a session you get to the spectrum above. If you play without consent with intoxicated ppl this will not matter for you, but also you are already kinda a bad person.
On the spectrum above you have different states of ecstasy at the highest discribed (assuming they are physically fine) they are unable to revoke their consent. In fact they will get more and more unable to revoke their consent. And this is also fine because to a degree they consented to it.
When you stop to respond or are unable to safeword you are into CNC territory. If you have direct or indirect consent that’s fine. I will not advocate against CNC play because, like the situation in the op, it is hot for a lot of ppl. For example with my wife I would also keep going if they are unresponsive because I know their limits pretty well and we discussed it.
The OP does not mention consent. To the contrary it even suggests that they are still in a starting phase and thatneither they not their sub did expect this situation.
hey that kinda makes sense, thanks for explaining this important concept just as I’m starting to explore what sex means to me and I’m able to understand your argument for the first time
Thank you. This made me review some of my actions and situations in a different light.
I can see the argument, but exploration is part of the journey. I think in this case, intent does matter quite a bit, and it’s clear to me at least that the OP had good intentions.
How do you know it wasn’t discussed beforehand? It’s entirely possible finding triggers like this was explicitly one of the goals of their play.
Because they didn’t say that so I assume it is not. Especially because they put it up on twitter to show off.
That’s pretty messed up to me. We don’t need to be rape-jacketing D/s dynamics like this. There’s no reason to assume this was a negative experience.
Well I try to assume the best of everyone, so I would also assume that this was a positive experience. However this does not invalidate my post. Something can be positive and still against consent or negative but under consent. The post pictures the situation in a exploring phase of the dynamic where consent may not be established for edge play or Tunnelspiele ( I don’t know if this even has an English word sorry, it’s a situation that can’t be opted out for example when you eat a hot pepper and have to wait till it’s not spicy anymore)
For me this is not about invalidating BDSM dynamics, I life in a pretty happy one myself. it is about awareness that stuff like this should be discussed and can have a negative impact on the dynamic if it is not.
Okay, I see where you’re coming from and can agree with the perspective. I only take issue with the assumption that there was a lack of consent because it wasn’t explicitly mentioned. We don’t know what their safety system is, and the dominant could very well have been acting on something that was discussed, just exploring methods on how to achieve that result. But you’re right, for something like this, you need to both have discussed exploration like that beforehand AND have a decent understanding of how your sub in that moment may end up in subdrop. Thanks for clarifying!
…that doesn’t mean that everyone has triggers like that
Which is a problem of the BDSM community yes
Where some see problems, others see opportunities.
I think it would simultaneously ruin and fix me
Only one way to find out
Are you going to tell me how?
Are you going to say please and address me properly?
Please tell me how?
Sent you a dm actually, hope that’s OK
Miss Takes?
I’m not a Miss, but you’re on the right track
I see, you’re more of a hit.
I don’t know if it would fix me, but it would definitely make me cry
🥺 i need to find a pleasure dom…
Honestly, everyone should have the opportunity to play with a competent pleasure Dom at some point.
need
hm huh mhm yeah huh aha hm yeah mhm I see ah aha mhm yea.
wonderful. absolutely one if the best feelings for both parties. I’m noticing that I mentioned like - most of this on the matrix server thing, besides the… adult bit. very wonderful
EDIT:
okay I thought about this a bit more. I think saying “you are safe with me” wouldn’t actually make me feel safe. it would feel a bit performative and would have to be backed up by actions.
on another note, the second post below it kinda breaks it for me. it distracts from the fantasy to the hard truth of being lonely. it leaves me with less than what I entered with.