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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 7th, 2024

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  • yes, i have several

    edit: I’ll live with the hate and you will all have to live without my painful, cringe-worthy sex mistakes

    edit: weeeelllll. just one. since you all insisted with your plethora of downvotes.

    The first time I ever got laid…the first time someone very obviously wanted me to stick my dick into them…and by obvious I mean that she basically asked. That’s the level of engagement that I need. So, anyway, we head to her parents bed. I’m all nervous and shit since I really don’t really know what to do with my throbbing cock. I’d seen movies but I never had to perform in real life. So she was all like “come here and stick it in me you little bitch(this was 300 years ago so i might be paraphrasing” I’m just kidding. I can’t write a story that’s more than a few sentences.

    Long story short: I bought a condom that was too small and it shot off my dick into her vergina and she never found it. I feel bad to this day