When I was in my early 20s Tinder/Hinge were absolutely popping off. I met with a girl for dinner. We talked about if it went well we would go back to my place and hook up. It did and we ended up in my bed. She started touching me and said “oooooo so big”. I immediately started laughing which made her laugh. I’m fine, but I do not have a big dick, she and I both knew that. We laughed about it more and she said she was just trying to be nice. Ended up being one of the more funny sexual encounters I had.

  • charade_you_are@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    631·
    1 month ago

    yes, i have several

    edit: I’ll live with the hate and you will all have to live without my painful, cringe-worthy sex mistakes

    edit: weeeelllll. just one. since you all insisted with your plethora of downvotes.

    The first time I ever got laid…the first time someone very obviously wanted me to stick my dick into them…and by obvious I mean that she basically asked. That’s the level of engagement that I need. So, anyway, we head to her parents bed. I’m all nervous and shit since I really don’t really know what to do with my throbbing cock. I’d seen movies but I never had to perform in real life. So she was all like “come here and stick it in me you little bitch(this was 300 years ago so i might be paraphrasing” I’m just kidding. I can’t write a story that’s more than a few sentences.

    Long story short: I bought a condom that was too small and it shot off my dick into her vergina and she never found it. I feel bad to this day