I totally get how pleasuring your partner feels good.
About the praise, I see a lot of même or reference to praise kink around here but I don’t fully understand. Hearing “good job” really is pleasurable? Are you so deprived of positive encouragement in your life that someone being polite is a turn on? I’m not trying to insult you or judge your life, sorry if my sentence is weird and a bit blunt, I don’t really know how to express it. If someone were to tell me I’m a good boy, I would feel a bit insulted at worst, thinking they are moking me and being ironic, and neutral at best. What am I missing or not getting? I’m pretty sure that if I call you a good girl for loving to suck cook, it will not trigger anything in you. I’m guessing it has to come from someone you value. If it’s more about you partner communicating what good and pleasurable for them, in my opinion, it should be part of the normal communication around sex. But then, we get back to pleasuring your partner, and it’s a form of feedback on your actions. And yeah, it’s hot. But I don’t think this is the same as a praise kink. Would you be ok to try to explain it (if possible)?
I don’t think you are weird. I don’t know the taste of cock but if you really love your partner, it’s not weird to also love this part of them. And if it’s a kink, enjoy your kink. Everyone has a weird side to them, you are right to embrace it and enjoy it. More power to you!
I’m really sorry you had such difficult childhood and bad mother. Kids are the worst and can be so cruel for no reason, it’s awful.
Also, I’m sorry my questions must have touch very sensitive memories, thank you for being open and I hope it wasn’t too painful. Thank you for broadening my understanding and perspective on the human condition. I hope you were able to deal with your trauma with a professional and that it’s not too much of a burden on you life.
I’m also sorry for the lack of clarity in my sentences. What I wanted to say is that everyone is unique/weird so really no one is weird. You should be able to like what you want without any guilt as long as it’s not hurting anyone else (except if they want to be hurt of course 😈).
I really hope you are in a sane relationship with your boyfriend and not just dependent on it. I hope he treats you with respect and genuine love as you absolutely deserve it. You are worth it, no doubt in my mind. I wish you and your boyfriend the best. I wish I could give you a big hug right now 🫂 (here’s a coupon for a free hug from your boyfriend in my place 💝)