I’m from Texas and used to hate Oklahoma, because I was taught that was correct. I’ve since learned that’s essentially the poop calling the turd a piece of shit, but that’s beside the point. When I lived outside of Dallas, I once learned that I was less than an hour from Oklahoma. At that age, I’d never driven outside of Texas, and decided to check something off the “things I’ve done” list.

When I neared the border, I hesitated and asked myself if I really wanted my first out-of-state driving experience to be in Oklahoma. So, I turned around and drove back.

The point is, there’s still a delineation that determines when a person is someone who’s only driven in Texas vs someone who’s also driven in Oklahoma. The same kind of line is what’s being proposed by SatansMaggotyCumFart’s Law. Even if I covered myself in stomach acid, I could still identify as someone who has only ever driven in Texas, even if I looked and smelled like vomit.

As further evidence supporting my incredibly intelligible argument, the beloved founder of Globo Gym once noted:

in some cultures, they only eat vomit.

In conclusion, I took more time writing this comment than I should have, and I’m sorry if you read it.

Thank you for attending my Ted Talk.