vent
I’ve been kept up in my house and hardly talking to people IRL for months, I’ve gone to 1 bar all summer and didn’t even keep in contact with anyone I met. The only thing I do is work as a cashier but I hardly talk to customers anymore and when they do it’s just the same copy paste transaction all over again. I tried to use vrchat as a way to still somewhat be social for a number of months but then I got really stressed and quit it because I wasn’t actually making progress.
It’s been pretty bad lately. I can’t really sleep at night because my mind keeps me up and will drive me to tears if I’m not distracting it 24/7. The last 2 days have been awful, the night before last I ended up taking 100mg of melatonin to just get to bed, but was told not to do that by someone on lemmy so last night I stayed up till 4am just crying. I have other medicines called a “boost bar” thats supposed to help but they don’t really do much.
I hardly ate yesterday because I just didn’t see anything that looked appealing, I tried to go to the store to get something but I ended up just getting a snack and leaving because there were too many people and cried on the way home.
Now I’m sitting in my car outside of work crying yet again wondering how bad this shift is gonna be.
emotional distress stuff
tbh i’ve seen that plenty of times and 90% of the times it was because the people had emotional stress, one girl wanted a partner and tried to look good (kinda anorexic) and sometimes one just doesn’t see the point in doing anything, including consuming food (depression).
Replying in kind
Absolutely. I know firsthand both having an extremely poor impression of my appearance and the swirling darkness of depression. I have been being treated for quite a while on the depression end, the impression bit I have fought myself with the help thereof. Now I can confidently say “I am too beautiful for any of this shit.” But yes, depression is not easily fought, especially when it is from trauma as opposed to chemical imbalances(or even worse, chemical imbalance combined with trauma). When it gets to a point where it becomes difficult to function though, it is time to seek help. When my panic attacks came back a while ago back when I was not on medicine and were going full force 24/7, I knew it was time to get help, and so I did. Best decision I ever made. Not an easy one to make for many people, it was not something I ever intended on myself, but I could not keep living life like that.