This is not a SFW instance. NSFW communities will be tagged, and efforts will be made to keep SFW communities clean, but proceed at your own comfort level.
In full honesty people change. This isn’t to forgive negative actions but also not chastise someone to eternity for the mistakes they have made so long as they have changed and are putting in the work to undo the harm they caused. We individually and ultimately as a society need forgiveness. To be human is to error and I personally don’t want a part in any community who can not manage the humility to forgive.
A lot of younger people don’t realize how far we’ve come on gay rights in a very short period.
In 1989 84% of Americans were opposed to gay marriage. It didn’t break 50% support until 2012. By 2024 it was nearly 70% in support, and all 50 states are now over 50%.
Most of us growing up in the 80s and 90s thought homosexuality was wrong. It didn’t feel like we were prejudiced assholes at the time though.
We now know we were wrong, and many of us have worked to make things better. And young people need to accept the fact that we were wrong and have changed.
There’s something else we’re all wrong about now. An unacceptable prejudice we don’t recognize because we don’t feel like we’re biggots. I don’t know what it is and I may never get over it, but the next generation will look back and realize they were wrong about something. And the only way to move on will be to accept they were wrong, forgive themselves, and make the world better.
Gay rights. Women’s rights. Minority rights. There are people alive today who went to segregated schools and, if they had a vagina, couldn’t open a checking account.
These things are being actively scrubbed from history by people who desperately want to go back to those “good old days”. Sadly, it is working much better than it should.
It’s backlash to progress. There’s always backlash, and we’ll always have times when we fall back. But in the last 60 years we’ve taken 5 steps forward for every step back on these issues and we’re gonna win this fight.
A lot of younger people don’t realize how far we’ve come on gay rights in a very short period.
A while ago I heard recordings of white house press conferences from the Reagan administration when a reporter started asking about AIDS for the first time.
I was just a kid during the Reagan administration, and not the kind of kid that listened to white house press conferences, so I had no recollection of this.
It was shocking to me how casually they joked and laughed about gay people dying and how they made fun of the reporter for asking the question. It was also shocking that it wasn’t just Reagan’s press secretary but also the other reporters joining in and laughing.
I’m in my early 30’s and I remember the opposition to gay marriage when I was a kid in the 2000’s, it was strong and very visible. This was in a Southern California beach town, not exactly a bastion of conservatism. Hell, Obama was opposed to gay marriage when he first ran for president. Things changed very quickly as we entered the 2010’s.
half of the population hating you is a big deal. half of a state hating you, even montana, is a big deal.
a lot of that approval may have to do with cancel culture as well. people may be hesitant to share their real viewpoints even in supposedly safe environments.
if you’re a man, go out in public wearing pink sneakers and tell me you don’t feel the gaze of other humans.
I’m a huge, bearded white dude in Texas, and I built an AR pistol using a pink arm brace that was on clearance. I put pink rail covers on it, a purple mag, and a pink, green, and purple oilslick bolt.
It gets chuckles at the gun range until I start shooting it. It’s got a 7-inch barrel shooting a 5.56 round, so most of the powder hasn’t burned prior to the round leaving the barrel and it makes like a 6-ft fireball in front of the gun and is stupidly loud.
I’m a straight middle-aged man who regularly wears pink shirts and sometimes pink pants. I honestly don’t think anyone has ever given me any kind of look and I’m not the least bit self-conscious about pink clothing.
11 years ago, I was dropping my daughter off at kindergarten and a kid walked up and said, “Hey! boys can’t wear pink!” I smiled and said, “Whoever told you that was wrong.” That’s the only time I’ve ever seen anything.
Fuck yeah, we need way more of this attitude. Like, sure, there are people out there that do an apology tour as a grift, whatever, but it’s absolutely insane how often people see someone legitimately trying to change and be better and will immediately shit on them like they need to be punished immediately. Do we really want to disincentivise people to change for the better?
I’m 100% unironically for literally punching nazis/fascists when they’re doing their bullshit in public. The number one goal any rational person would have for a fascist is for that fascist to not exist. The best-case scenario for this is for them to no longer to be a fascist and renouncing fascism altogether. We must keep in mind that we must focus our anger on the system, not the people. That means publicly and viciously opposing fascism, but also giving people a way to leave that movement. You don’t destroy the movement by opposing it alone, you must also starve it of it’s members. If enough people leave a movement, that movement loses it’s power. I’m using fascism as an obviously extreme example, but the principle(s) applies for any kind of malignant behavior/system.
When someone tries to leave some hateful bullshit behind, pull that motherfucker in. You lose an enemy and gain a friend. +2, bb!
To be honest though, I feel like queer people that grew up in that period and before were robbed. It sucks and I don’t really know where to place the anger properly. Definitely not on a musician though, personally.
My family, the people I grew up around, yes, but not a musician really, especially when half the time they were probably just looking for an easy rhyme, as compared to someone a foot away from my face saying they wanted to drag me behind a truck. Or saying how wrong it is to be with a guy. I’m not big on ICP but have listened to a few of their songs and if I’m being real I didn’t even notice them saying it. But the other stuff… I don’t think I’ll ever heal from.
I chose my username specifically because I did not realize how misguided I was when I was younger, but when I did see myself I resolved to learn and grow, to be constantly improving myself in some way. That includes reevaluating long-held beliefs, shedding them when they are wrong or hurtful, and apologizing to those who I may have hurt. If it weren’t for forgiveness, both from others and for myself, I don’t know where I’d be right now but I know it wouldn’t be a better place.
All that to say, whoever hit you with that down arrow has lived either a life so pure that they’ve never felt the longing for forgiveness after wronging another, or a life of pitiful ignorance. Understanding and accepting Violent J’s remorse does not mean we condone who he is or what he was, it means we appreciate and respect his humility.
There’s a story of a rude and hateful boy. He would spend his days hurting others. One day the father said every time you spite someone you will put a nail in our fence. Day after day nails were hammered into the fence. One day on returning home the boy noticed the fence with countless ugly rusting nails sticking out of it and decided then and there to change. Day after day the boy became kind, helpful, and friendly to everyone. The father said to him each day that goes by take a nail out of the fence. Finally one day the boy was removing the last nail. The father said you can work to better yourself and amend wrongdoings but the damage will always be there, be remembered, forgiven but not forgotten. So to my son don’t ever fear working to undo the wrongs you have done but know to mind your actions as they will leave a lasting mark on the world and people around you.
I’m more into stoicism personally than religious practices although I can appreciate the better aspects of most faiths. Not so much the unquestionable belief aspect.
Have you ever changed or helped someone change? In my experience there’s ignorance, they don’t really know or see and then they become aware in the same way someone who doesn’t want to do those things is aware and they change.
I can dislike the actions someone has made and yet encourage their efforts to not make those actions again.
It’s not up to you whether or not others change or even care about being good. It absolutely is up to you to show them a better way in your own conduct, and sometimes with words should they be receptive.
It could be a lot better and there’s some backsliding but it is indeed better than other places. Where I live most of the year homosexuality is illegal and people are regularly killed for it with zero recourse. Similarly any statements against the government are met with a similar outcome. Even before the last protest could organize people were killed in their homes. Now as for the US in some ways it’s a lot better than its ever been and in others it’s worse. It’s usually like that anywhere. I wish reality was as simplistic as your comment is hinting at. I will say everywhere I’ve been on this earth there are good, kind, compassionate, and loving people doing their part to make the world a better place.
Acknowledging someone’s humility and accepting their remorse does not mean we have to condone who they were, nor do we have to like who they are now. Wisdom is not measured by how early someone learns a lesson, but by their willingness to learn it when the lesson finally arrives. Be careful dismissing another’s growth; none of us can know which of our current beliefs or biases we may one day regret.
In full honesty people change. This isn’t to forgive negative actions but also not chastise someone to eternity for the mistakes they have made so long as they have changed and are putting in the work to undo the harm they caused. We individually and ultimately as a society need forgiveness. To be human is to error and I personally don’t want a part in any community who can not manage the humility to forgive.
A lot of younger people don’t realize how far we’ve come on gay rights in a very short period.
In 1989 84% of Americans were opposed to gay marriage. It didn’t break 50% support until 2012. By 2024 it was nearly 70% in support, and all 50 states are now over 50%.
Most of us growing up in the 80s and 90s thought homosexuality was wrong. It didn’t feel like we were prejudiced assholes at the time though.
We now know we were wrong, and many of us have worked to make things better. And young people need to accept the fact that we were wrong and have changed.
There’s something else we’re all wrong about now. An unacceptable prejudice we don’t recognize because we don’t feel like we’re biggots. I don’t know what it is and I may never get over it, but the next generation will look back and realize they were wrong about something. And the only way to move on will be to accept they were wrong, forgive themselves, and make the world better.
It’s how we improve as a society.
Gay rights. Women’s rights. Minority rights. There are people alive today who went to segregated schools and, if they had a vagina, couldn’t open a checking account.
These things are being actively scrubbed from history by people who desperately want to go back to those “good old days”. Sadly, it is working much better than it should.
It’s backlash to progress. There’s always backlash, and we’ll always have times when we fall back. But in the last 60 years we’ve taken 5 steps forward for every step back on these issues and we’re gonna win this fight.
A while ago I heard recordings of white house press conferences from the Reagan administration when a reporter started asking about AIDS for the first time.
I was just a kid during the Reagan administration, and not the kind of kid that listened to white house press conferences, so I had no recollection of this.
It was shocking to me how casually they joked and laughed about gay people dying and how they made fun of the reporter for asking the question. It was also shocking that it wasn’t just Reagan’s press secretary but also the other reporters joining in and laughing.
I found a link to it for another post recently:
When Aids Was Funny
I’m in my early 30’s and I remember the opposition to gay marriage when I was a kid in the 2000’s, it was strong and very visible. This was in a Southern California beach town, not exactly a bastion of conservatism. Hell, Obama was opposed to gay marriage when he first ran for president. Things changed very quickly as we entered the 2010’s.
Isn’t it obvious? Something that nobody will deny in a couple decades, for which future generations will curse us?
those aren’t encouraging numbers tbh.
half of the population hating you is a big deal. half of a state hating you, even montana, is a big deal.
a lot of that approval may have to do with cancel culture as well. people may be hesitant to share their real viewpoints even in supposedly safe environments.
if you’re a man, go out in public wearing pink sneakers and tell me you don’t feel the gaze of other humans.
I’m a huge, bearded white dude in Texas, and I built an AR pistol using a pink arm brace that was on clearance. I put pink rail covers on it, a purple mag, and a pink, green, and purple oilslick bolt.
It gets chuckles at the gun range until I start shooting it. It’s got a 7-inch barrel shooting a 5.56 round, so most of the powder hasn’t burned prior to the round leaving the barrel and it makes like a 6-ft fireball in front of the gun and is stupidly loud.
Centuries of hate going from 84% to 30% in a few decades is fucking fantastic.
I’m a straight middle-aged man who regularly wears pink shirts and sometimes pink pants. I honestly don’t think anyone has ever given me any kind of look and I’m not the least bit self-conscious about pink clothing.
11 years ago, I was dropping my daughter off at kindergarten and a kid walked up and said, “Hey! boys can’t wear pink!” I smiled and said, “Whoever told you that was wrong.” That’s the only time I’ve ever seen anything.
Is there something specific about sneakers?
Fuck yeah, we need way more of this attitude. Like, sure, there are people out there that do an apology tour as a grift, whatever, but it’s absolutely insane how often people see someone legitimately trying to change and be better and will immediately shit on them like they need to be punished immediately. Do we really want to disincentivise people to change for the better?
I’m 100% unironically for literally punching nazis/fascists when they’re doing their bullshit in public. The number one goal any rational person would have for a fascist is for that fascist to not exist. The best-case scenario for this is for them to no longer to be a fascist and renouncing fascism altogether. We must keep in mind that we must focus our anger on the system, not the people. That means publicly and viciously opposing fascism, but also giving people a way to leave that movement. You don’t destroy the movement by opposing it alone, you must also starve it of it’s members. If enough people leave a movement, that movement loses it’s power. I’m using fascism as an obviously extreme example, but the principle(s) applies for any kind of malignant behavior/system.
When someone tries to leave some hateful bullshit behind, pull that motherfucker in. You lose an enemy and gain a friend. +2, bb!
To be honest though, I feel like queer people that grew up in that period and before were robbed. It sucks and I don’t really know where to place the anger properly. Definitely not on a musician though, personally.
My family, the people I grew up around, yes, but not a musician really, especially when half the time they were probably just looking for an easy rhyme, as compared to someone a foot away from my face saying they wanted to drag me behind a truck. Or saying how wrong it is to be with a guy. I’m not big on ICP but have listened to a few of their songs and if I’m being real I didn’t even notice them saying it. But the other stuff… I don’t think I’ll ever heal from.
I chose my username specifically because I did not realize how misguided I was when I was younger, but when I did see myself I resolved to learn and grow, to be constantly improving myself in some way. That includes reevaluating long-held beliefs, shedding them when they are wrong or hurtful, and apologizing to those who I may have hurt. If it weren’t for forgiveness, both from others and for myself, I don’t know where I’d be right now but I know it wouldn’t be a better place.
All that to say, whoever hit you with that down arrow has lived either a life so pure that they’ve never felt the longing for forgiveness after wronging another, or a life of pitiful ignorance. Understanding and accepting Violent J’s remorse does not mean we condone who he is or what he was, it means we appreciate and respect his humility.
I’ve been dwelling on something I overheard for the last week- “that didn’t define me, I transcended it.”
Whether it was something I did / mistake I made or something that happened / was done to me, it doesn’t define me, I transcended beyond it.
Same as if my boot was stuck in the mud, it was only stuck until I pulled it free. Once I wash the mud off, it’s just a boot again.
There’s a story of a rude and hateful boy. He would spend his days hurting others. One day the father said every time you spite someone you will put a nail in our fence. Day after day nails were hammered into the fence. One day on returning home the boy noticed the fence with countless ugly rusting nails sticking out of it and decided then and there to change. Day after day the boy became kind, helpful, and friendly to everyone. The father said to him each day that goes by take a nail out of the fence. Finally one day the boy was removing the last nail. The father said you can work to better yourself and amend wrongdoings but the damage will always be there, be remembered, forgiven but not forgotten. So to my son don’t ever fear working to undo the wrongs you have done but know to mind your actions as they will leave a lasting mark on the world and people around you.
So, the moral of the story is that if you’re too kind and friendly your fence will fall apart.
No
I think it’s pretty clear that if you take all the nails out of a fence it will fall down.
It’s a Japanese fence not held together by nails or glue.
Ah, so nails are a precious commodity, and you should try to make sure you have as many as you can.
so convenient and platitudinous for assholes who find religion and want to seem more mature later. A Mark Wahlberg-esque story for the ages.
I’m more into stoicism personally than religious practices although I can appreciate the better aspects of most faiths. Not so much the unquestionable belief aspect.
Have you ever changed or helped someone change? In my experience there’s ignorance, they don’t really know or see and then they become aware in the same way someone who doesn’t want to do those things is aware and they change.
I can dislike the actions someone has made and yet encourage their efforts to not make those actions again.
Hell yeah, brudder.
It’s not up to you whether or not others change or even care about being good. It absolutely is up to you to show them a better way in your own conduct, and sometimes with words should they be receptive.
Dichotomy of Control, boiiii
the fact you have to declare this obvious truth tells you that america hasn’t changed much at all. we’re just shitty in different contexts.
It could be a lot better and there’s some backsliding but it is indeed better than other places. Where I live most of the year homosexuality is illegal and people are regularly killed for it with zero recourse. Similarly any statements against the government are met with a similar outcome. Even before the last protest could organize people were killed in their homes. Now as for the US in some ways it’s a lot better than its ever been and in others it’s worse. It’s usually like that anywhere. I wish reality was as simplistic as your comment is hinting at. I will say everywhere I’ve been on this earth there are good, kind, compassionate, and loving people doing their part to make the world a better place.
Not just people but societal norms. I’m not going to judge anyone for being homophobic decades ago, but this side of 2015? Bro, get with the program.
Acknowledging someone’s humility and accepting their remorse does not mean we have to condone who they were, nor do we have to like who they are now. Wisdom is not measured by how early someone learns a lesson, but by their willingness to learn it when the lesson finally arrives. Be careful dismissing another’s growth; none of us can know which of our current beliefs or biases we may one day regret.