This is not the place for this sort of histrionic attention seeking. Find a professional therapist to help treat your disorder.

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I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue.

Not pocket friendly. In my experience, the stress on the port will wear it out.

The jerk store called, they’re running outta you.

Myopia management methods will help prevent the next generation of myopes from having such severe axial elongation.

Those who know do not speak; those who speak do not know

I’m using the Faber Adult Piano Adventures books, and am having a great time. I try and learn one new piece each day (they are short pieces – at most about 1 to 2 pages). The method books are great because they start from absolute basics and build as you go, so as long as you are honest with yourself and don’t skip ahead until ready, they are a great way to learn, especially if you are interested in learning to read sheet music.

Aside from that the biggest help has been listening to a lot of classical piano music and that has also been a rewarding experience on its own.

I recently started teaching myself piano. There are great adult method books that make the process pretty straightforward. Modern digital pianos are fantastic and be can used with headphones too, which lets me practice without annoying the rest of the house.

The Society of the Spectacle by Guy Debord.