Lettuce eat lettuce

Always eat your greens!

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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: July 12th, 2023

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    1. Get an MMA kick pad or build one yourself, attach it to a horizontal bar.
    2. Spend the next 3-4 months practicing kicking it precisely in the center as hard as you can. Do flutter kicks and squats as well to add strength.
    3. Wear steel-toe boots/pointy high heels at all times when the Cats in the Hats are afoot.
    4. When chased, face the attacker, assume kicking stance from your training, await the assailant until their crotch is within optimal striking distance.
    5. Follow your training. Don’t kick the crotch, kick through it, as if you’re going to kick the inside of that cat’s top hat.
    6. Yell, “Ughh! That top hat is tight! Now run that shit, bi*ch! Ynawmean!!”