TIL I am an advanced toilet engineer.

“Sorry, you can’t use basic flush again for 90 seconds.”

Somewhere there’s got to be an advertising exec that’s trying to figure out how tall the average guy sticking his dick in a glory hole is, so they can slap an ad right at eye level. Then another ad right above the hole at eye level of the other person.

Add up high for McDonalds

Right above the hole for 5 gum

Laughtrack

Oh, yeah, I remember this episode.

Laughtrack

Which means that by inviting it into your home and giving it part of your child, you’re keeping it from abducting your child later. The coin is just a bonus.

Hey, don’t give them any ideas! Next thing I know, I’m going to need to subscribe to “Premium Flush+” just to make a turd go away.

Yes, except the machine melted his fingers in the process of making cinnamon rolls.

Super easy solution: Human eats top half of horse. Horse eats bottom half of human. Mount human torso on horse bottoms. Glue together. Centaur with full belly activated. Go about with your centaur business with no more hunger.

I really, genuinely hate that this administration has forced us all into a conspiracy theory world where literally nothing is impossible.