I have changed my work teams twice now and happened twice now. First I just thought it was one toxic guy who picked up on me and had a knack on finding bully targets. Then, I have changed teams away from this dude and I felt I was surrounded by sane people this time but it happened again. It starts with one person making fun of me and others start to pick it up.
I’m not sure what it is that I’m giving away that I attract bullies so easily. I often put a smile and not make any rude jokes with coworkers. Maybe that’s the reason why?
I’ve observed one more pattern is that they act nice and normal when they’re alone with me but suddenly when we’re in a group, they start behaving in a snarky fashion towards me and find every opportunity to make fun of me. They often steal my ideas & jokes and pose them as their own too, I’m not bothered with it through as long as it doesn’t benefit them in work.
I’m not an idiot either at work that makes them think I’d be an easy target. I often do my job very well and stay up with every metric. They don’t seem to like it or try to downplay me whenever I’m in a spotlight.
I’ll be changing companies soon and I want to try to cut down on any behaviours that make me look like the doormat that I am. Any tips on how to make others respect me more? Thanks.
Stop trying to fit in and putting on fake smiles as they make you an easy target for the bullies to target when they need a punching bag and a mule to saddle with work. Bullies are like sharks, they smell your desperation to fit in, the secrets acting like you could give a fart what anyone thinks. I have done this frequently since high school and you surprisingly end up with more friends than you need due to some bizarre reverse psychology. Lastly, stop offering advice, they’ve realized they can take your ideas if they pacify you with a little attention. The truth is, do you want to keep changing your job? If not, stop trying to earn others respect and try respecting yourself.
This was me when I was younger. I turned it around by using simple social queues. In a group, if a friend I trusted was making jokes on my expense I’d laugh. However, if someone else I didn’t trust/ accept would do the same (as often happened), I’d just stare at them with a neural expression. Maybe even a bit annoyed. Social situations are ball games. They all want to play ball. If you dont play ball, they will try to adapt so that you throw the ball back
Don’t tolerate disrespect, full stop. Shut that shit down.
This could be happening because of a lot of things. Do you act like a know it all? Do you overshare? Are you a highly sensitive person?
To stop being a doormat you have to start setting boundaries. This works both with yourself and others.
Is it possible that they are giving you a playful ribbing? At every place I’ve worked you knew when you had become accepted when they started razzing you a little bit. Never anything too hurtful, at least not on purpose.
They might be waiting on you to join in and get a snarky remark in.
Gonna be honest here man, and I really don’t mean to be rude, just being real. You’re a pussy. Other guys know you are by your demenor, how you talk, the way you approach things, the way you talk probably isn’t sure if yourself even if you are.