Yeah my dad has said so many things that have left me stunned. I have had to explain tax brackets to this man so many fucking times. He keeps thinking if he goes up a bracket the overall tax % will increase and therefore he will actually have less money.

Two weeks after I explained to my father why I had an abortion … and he calmly said he understood my reasons … he told me I’d murdered his grandchild.

He was a real winner, my dad.

When I was little, I did something bad (I don’t even remember what it was), and my mom got angry with me about it, and I was already crying, and I asked her “Do you still love me?” and she said “I don’t know”, and that shit has stuck with me forever and I’m sure contributes to the fact that I don’t truly trust anyone. If I brought it up to her now, she’d 100% deny it.

I had moved away a few years and my mother was homeless due to her own choices and lack of effort to do anything. My wife and I were in town visiting her family, and we decided to take my mother out to dinner. During the meal she was (rightly) complaining about the perils of being homeless and having to watch out for the pigs. I suggested that she look into getting into some government housing. You know her response?

“I don’t want to be the light in he dark.”

If you’re as confused as I pretended I was, she means she didn’t want to live with/around black people. Which was really fucking surprising to me, considering we had lived with, around, and had been friends with all kinds of POC growing up (as you you tend to do in poor and mixed neighborhoods and when you have to rent out rooms to get by). That level of racism was rather surprising, but she had become toxic as fuck in the years before I moved, so it shouldn’t have been.

Parent told me I shouldn’t hold it against my older sibling who abused me when I was younger because the older sibling also remembered my birthday and got me toys when I was younger

I remember talking about how the sun is relatively small compared to how big stars can get. Then my dad said “wait, the sun isn’t a star…” He basically thought the sun’s technical term was “a sun” and that stars are actually as tiny as they appear to us in the sky.

When she admitted that one of my teachers was interesting and if not for the reason that she was already in a relationship she might have tried flirting with him because he was cute

I mean, there are some dark unhinged things in the pipeline of wtf memories, but I prefer the funny and lighthearted ones.

Like when my 80something year old dad got into Shawn the Sheep and Bluey and would start babbling on about the lore in the shows and explain character arcs for different characters and letting me know that this or that season is awesome but that the latest season was total ass.

He also named his lawnmower after one of the characters in one of the shows and actively refers to it by that name when he talks about his gardening projects.

some_guy’s mother: Something something the gays, I just wish they didn’t have to be so in your face about it.

Reading this makes me realize how many people had really fucked up childhoods. I feel sorry for all of you, don’t give up hope for humanity, and choose (if you can) how to live your own life. There are better people out there.

Basically anything full on Cult of Personality for Trump plus steadily increasing levels of fundamentalism Christianity. Holidays have been getting…tense to say the least.

My step father told me about the time he told my biological father that he had slept with my mom.

I was a small child and we were all living in a house together, my mom, biological father and step father(my bio dads bff at the time). Step father took my bio father out and told him what they had done. My bio father was so happy to hear the news he shook my step father’s hand and thanked him profusely. He then proceeded to tell my step father how he wanted to burn the house down with me and my mom in it so this is the best news he could possibly get.

After my step father told me this story he followed it up with “at that moment I should have known and left your mother” 🫠

I was eating dinner with my dad a year ago when he told me about how he believes jews secretly run the world and that there’s something fishy about the Rothschilds. I burst out laughing thinking my dad had suddenly developed a very modern online sense of humor, but unfortunately no.

I’ve never known my dad to be antisemitic, and he even explained that regular jews are a different group from the ones in control.

I straight up told him it’s ridiculous and that he needs to get off the internet, but he never agreed with me. I still don’t know how to handle the situation really.

Oh and my mom went borderline sovereign citizen a few years ago, but I don’t remember what insane thing she said first.

The monster that raised me was a real piece of work.

Context: she adopted me and 3 others. The other 3 were adopted when she was a single parent.

• “I didn’t want you. <ex husband> did.”
• “Stick to your own kind.” (In front of my mixed-ethnicity siblings, when I introduced a girl I was seeing to her)
• ”Ain’t no son of mine is going to be a <slur>” (all 3 of my siblings had developmental disorders, I only asked to be tested)
• “I don’t want that <homophobic slur> in my house no more, I don’t want AIDS”
• “If you really hate me that much go back to your whore mother, she didn’t want you either”
• ”Nobody wants you, I don’t even want you.” (She used this one a lot)
• ”Where would you be if I didn’t take you in?” (Also used this one a lot)
• ”Read. My. Lips.” (I had moderate to severe hearing loss back then, and she refused to learn sign language. She would also get right in my face when she did that)
• ”You a <homophobic slur> now?” (When I pierced both of my ears)
• ”If you move out don’t ever come back, don’t call me, don’t talk to me, don’t ask me for diggity shit”

That last one was fun. I met my partner and snuck out in the middle of the night to fly across the world just to get away from her. She reported me as kidnapped multiple times even after I contacted the detectives AND her to let her know I was only following instructions. Then she denied she ever said that. That was the last time I spoke to her, over a decade ago.

I’m in therapy twice a week for the past few years, was recently diagnosed with adhd and autism, and non-binary transfem. My partner is Indonesian. She can rot in piss.

My dad, the tech genius that he is, has been against every minor step forward since the 90’s:

“Why do i need an answering machine, if they need me, they’ll call back.” He worked for himself as a handyman, so this is plain ridiculous. Finally, someone gives him an answering machine and suddenly it’s “This is awesome! I never miss a call! I’ve got so much work!” Later it was “Why do I need a debit card? I can just write a check!” which evolved to “It’s so convenient! I can get gas, even when they’re closed!” He repeated the answering machine argument when cell phones arrived, and repeated the results when he finally got one.

It’s a running theme in his life. The one that really gobsmacked me was when he proudly declared “the Internet can’t hurt me if i don’t get on it!”