While peppers are prolific cross-pollinators, you don’t see the results of that in the original fruit. If you grow a habanero and a jalapeno next to each other, the fruit they produce will be exactly what you would expect from an ordinary jalapeno and an ordinary habanero. If you save the seeds, however, and grow the F1 hybrid it will be a mix of the two parents phenotypes. It won’t look exactly like either parent, and will be some combination of the two in flavor.
If the original fruit you got from the jalapeno was different than you expected it could have been a hybrid itself, or it could have been growing conditions encouraged a spicier flavor.
Cry. We get trained early to hold it in. Whether it’s a good intentioned “please don’t cry” or a heartless “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”, we learn when we’re young that it’s not okay to let out our emotions. But sadness passes in tears. My wife of 25 years died less than two months ago. I have good support from people who understand letting out your emotions and I’ve been crying hard almost every day since then. I’m mostly past the acute grief now. I’m getting out and doing things with people, spending time with friends. I still have moments where I see something of hers and have to take a moment to cry. But I’m up and living my life.
So be gentle with yourself. Hold space for your sadness and let the tears come. It’s the only way I know of to pass through it.